Burzyńska, Anna

This black comedy, which is, as usual in Anna Burzyńska’s works, filled with numerous unexpected turns of events, takes place in a Funeral Home. Ada, who works there, is a mortuary cosmetologist, but she also does special commissions… On this particular day, she is to work on a body of a man whom “God did not bless with good looks.” When Ada is powdering his nose, the man suddenly comes back to life. The woman faints. After a round of genuinely witty banter, it turns out that the man doesn’t remember who he is nor how or why he “died”. However, when he finds a balaclava in the pocket of his coat, he remembers that he is a hit man – one tasked with killing Ada at that. All because Ada made a fool of a don by mistakenly likening him with makeup to Shrek instead of Al Capone. Unfortunately, the resolute Ada has already stolen his heart, and the man finds it hard to resist her charms. These feelings make him “analyze this” in philosophical contemplation of how to have his cake and eat it too. Seizing the opportunity, Ada takes control of the situation. Now she wants to kill the man, because, as she puts it, “it’s better to take somebody out than to be taken out”. The tables turn, and now it is the man who has to find a way to save his life. What happens next with the pair of lovers from the funeral home? You have to find out for yourself.

This Italian town can only be under the control of one of them. Bruna Fabbri and Rita Conti, the titular black widows, are mob bosses. Neither dissolving corpses in acid nor putting bullets in inconvenient people's heads intimidates them - especially since they can count on the help of their (are they really loyal?) hitwomen. These circumstances are where Maruzzella, Bruna's daughter, and Paolo, Rita's son, grow up like delicate flowers and dream of escaping the world of mafia to live an ordinary middle-class life, and maybe a house with a garden... Which, as you may have guessed, is an (almost) impossible plan in a world where ruthless godmothers baptize the streets of the town with blood.

"LOLA: Marriage is like taking a bath. As you get used to it, the water feels less hot. And then it gets ice-cold. I put the urn with Franco's ashes at my hairdresser's, among the shampoos and conditioners. As a result, we frequently see each other.
PIETRA: Claudio earned a bullet while in a brothel. The bullets pierced him and the whore he was lying on. I had him buried together with the whore as proof that I didn't hold a grudge against him. But I promised myself that I would never marry such a jerk again. As you get older, you get wiser. However, the real wisdom comes when you are lying in a coffin." 

Black Widows is a wacky comedy filled with black humor that is also a frenetic interpretation of “Romeo and Juliet”. The play features as many as seventeen songs written to the tune of Italian hits, originally performed by Rosa Balistreri, among others.

A three-act comedy

In his loneliness, Adam decides to turn to an unusual method of getting good company. He kidnaps lonely ladies from the streets. When the women get to his apartment he invites them for an elegant dinner-party. There are candles burning, champagne, delicious food and intelligent conversation. No sex, no harassment at all. Then – goodbye. However, one evening he meets Elżbieta who, after a moment of shock, gets used to being kidnapped and likes it so much that she decides not to come back to her boring husband. She begs Adam to let her stay, confesses true affection and promises to be as quiet as a mouse. She won’t mind all the other ladies. Adam feels trapped now, almost as if he himself was kidnapped, but he believes that the next day crazy Elżbieta will see him in a less romantic light. Maybe this sudden love will go away. He finally gives her his pajamas, but when she is under the shower, the doorbell rings. It’s Czesława, who has just come to stay forever, leaving behind her boring husband and all the miseries of everyday life. Czesława and Elzbieta feel like a family already. Then Czesława’s husband rushes into the flat. His wife refuses to go back. Now Adam has to teach Wiesław how to be an attractive, macho kidnapper. The conversation transforms into a therapy. As it is coming to the end, everybody loves somebody. Eventually, Adam and Wiesław want to spend some time together in a separate room. A glass of beer or two, watching football, some man-to-man conversation. The ladies clean up the table. A typical end of an ordinary family day.

Anna Burzyńska's play was influenced by the article published in "Polityka" and dealing with the circumstances of young Polish businessmen and the plague of suicides, which happen on Sundays. The author was probably frightened by the vision of a well arranged and planned life of thirty-year-olds, who, like young piranhas, are climbing the career-ladder in new and big foreign managerial companies. These are also the protagonists of "Most suicides happen on Sunday" - Klara and Nikodem. Both educated, determined to change their fate by running away from home, a provincial town, changing their name as Klara did, freeing themselves from their own personality, or denying family values like Nikodem. They both believed in the durability of their brilliant careers and even in their genius in a difficult professional market, where tens and hundreds of similar people are fighting among themselves for better cars, impressive offices, mobile phones, membership in elite clubs, living in exclusive housing estates, and above all for prestige in their own eyes. They believe in their exceptionality and good fortune. They are not prepared to fail, nor to accept the fall.

The author's skillful dramaturgical approach has the characters facing the collapse of their world. They lose their jobs and do not admit the failure to their partner. They construct a fictional world, pretend to be normal, which has not been normal for a long time. Their contacts are recorded by a telephone answering machine, their intimacy comes down to a few minutes of a morning snuggling. They don't really know anything about each other, and yet they live together and consider themselves happy.

It is only the crash on their professional stock exchange that reveals emptiness, real loneliness, helplessness. It becomes a paradox that the mutual rapprochement occurs at the moment of departure - they are planning a joint suicide. Escape. A terrifying Sunday conversation, with an even more terrifying conclusion, ends like at the office. On a calendar - on Monday - they put an "S", with a capital letter, and even change the recording on the answering machine: "This is Klara's and Nik's apartment. We're not here. Beep..." But was it something strange? They were never at home anyway, and the answering machine was their confidant and now it will probably keep their secret too. The world of illusion that was created for them and that they built themselves fell apart like a house of cards.  Small piranhas were devoured by big sharks.

There are two characters: 55-year-old opera singer and her accompanist – man of the same age. He’s been accompanying the singer for 30 years and is hopelessly in love with her, but he’s never spoken a single word to her. Finally, he decides to tell her about his feelings, but chooses the worst possible moment for that – and this is the beginning of the play, which starts as a comedy and evolves to become a psychological thriller.

At the beginning, the singer seems to be the main character of the play and the one who controls the situation. She ignores his feelings, has her own priorities (work, work, work, and finding younger and younger lovers). She is not interested to hear what he has to say and gives him three minutes for that. But while listening, she is shocked how much he knows about her life and, to her utter surprise, realizes that it’s been him who decided about her contracts and personal relationships. Gradually, the shy, sentimental man reveals his disturbing, psychopathic personality. We find out he has created a fictitious world in which he cooks and buys clothes for his beloved woman, goes to sleep with her, discusses music and shares with her all his mundane life. As the singer sees the madness in the man, she gets more and more scared. She feels trapped and desperately tries to find a way out of the situation. She stands on the window sill, threatening to jump, but he convinces her it’s not high enough and she’ll only end up in a wheelchair having him to take care of her. The woman then gives up and tells him she’s ready to marry him. Will this make the man happy? Will it be “happily ever after”? Get ready for a suurprise.

The play is haunting and funny and has very well-written dialogues. Both characters evolve and surprise. There are many references to musical motives and composers, which makes the story additionaly attractive and entertaining.

A luxurious villa on the outskirts of Warsaw. Emi, an attractive businesswoman, returns from work. That evening she and her husband Adam made an appointment with their friends Nina and Eryk for home cooking together. Adam, unfortunately, as usual, is late, and Emi doesn't know yet that this meeting will go in a completely different direction than they could have imagined even in the darkest scenarios...

This is because an unknown man (Tony) who broke into her house is waiting for Emi. He is armed and brazen. He terrorizes the woman, although he has not yet revealed the reason for his intrusion. At some point, the invited Nina and Eryk come. Tony forces Emi to feed them some excuse and ask them to leave. But the friends are not so easy to get rid off, and eventually Tony takes over, declaring that he and Emi have been having an affair for a long time, and Emi has just decided to leave her husband. To confirm this revelation, he embraces her passionately, and she plays along to fulfill the kidnapper's orders and get rid of the guests. Nina and Eryk are bewildered, but eventually they leave.

Emi tries at all costs to find out what the thug actually wants, but he, excited by pretending to be lovers, forces her to have sex. In the end, however, he reveals to Emi the reason for the raid. He and his buddy kidnapped her husband and imprisoned him in a shed in the nearby forest. Tony offers Emi a deal - if she transfers the right amount of money to the account he has indicated, his buddy frees Adam. Otherwise, he and Emi will die. The fact that Tony expects Emi to put a price on her husband's life makes the situation even more exciting...

But there comes a twist that Tony clearly did not expect. Emi states that she has long wanted to get rid of Adam, with whom she is not happy. She won't pay the ransom because she wants Tony and his buddy to kill him. To convince Tony, she reveals that she cheated on her husband with his best friend Alex. Now she's the one who's forcing Tony to get sexual, imprinting on him her desire.

When Emi and Tony are having sex, Adam comes in unexpectedly. He miraculously managed to escape. He recognizes one of the kidnappers in a man he considers to be his wife's lover at this point. Adam firmly refuses to pay the ransom, and Tony forces Emi to shoot his husband in this situation. When Emi points the gun at Adam, Eryk and Nina come back. They want to persuade their friend not to leave her husband. Seeing Emi with the gun, they're convinced she wants to kill Adam out of love with Tony...

There's a series of misunderstandings, resulting from different versions of the event, and eventually Tony terrorizes all four friends. The sense of danger triggers a series of mutual accusations and airing of dirty laundry, revealing the true picture of the couple's lamentable relationship, carefully hidden under a facade of apparent happiness. Adam even admits that out of desperation he intended to cheat on his wife with a man. It turns out that this man is Alex, with whom Emi cheated on him... Finally, Tony, impatient by his participation in this "soap opera" - as he puts it - returns to the question of money, now threatening to kill both spouses. At the climax of the play, however, he is overpowered and unmasked, which comes as a shock to the others, shedding a whole new light on the events to date. What will be the end of this story?

An exquisitely constructed play, full of unexpected twists and turns, keeping the suspense up until the last moment, when everything turns out to be different than it seems, and the title "transaction" turns into a dramatic game about everything, including sex.

A study of the psyche of a sexually abused child - written without pompousness. During the casting for a TV series, the adult Marian praises his vocal qualities and teases the committee to make them interested. From word to word, from demonstration to demonstration, Marian unexpectedly begins "the confession of a child of the century". He plays the role of a small, naive Marian, who he once was. The viewer has an opportunity to learn that once inflicted wounds do not heal easily, forming an adult, disturbed individual.

The play was written for one actor who imitates all other voices. It is also possible to introduce to the stage the characters recalled in the memories of the main character: father, mother and sister. Marian is an angry, disturbed man - about 40-50 years old. His apparent cheerfulness and exuberance serve to drown out the traumatic memories of his childhood, spent in a dysfunctional family. Slowly, he reveals to the audience those experiences which lead him to the most aggressive ways of reacting to his reality.

For as long as he remembered, he, his sister and mother were burdened by the threat of his father's leaving. The mother was ready to make many concessions, just to stop her husband and show her neighbors that she was living according to "God's way". Time passed by for Marian on waiting for his father, who introduced himself to him as an extraordinary sorcerer. However, the sorcerer turned out to be an evil one. The hero was sexually abused by him. Growing up, he realized that he had been subjected to sinister black magic. In children's visions, erotic codes become fairy-tale-like, taking the form of animals and other creatures. It is suggested that the sister was aware of what the father was doing. The mother would extol his affection and paternal care. At the age of thirteen, however, Maniuś changed from a polite little boy to an unruly boy who dreamt of only one thing: killing the abuser. The malicious God, however, took care of that by "inflicting" a stroke on his father's brain. At the same time, he made it impossible for the Son to administer his own justice.

What happened after the funeral? Mother and sister calmed down. They preferred the father dead, they no longer had to be afraid of him leaving them behind. And teenage Marian?

        I immediately ran to the station and calmly allowed a guy to fuck me in the ass in the restroom. I easily found a willing guy. He even looked a bit like him.

One day at the Central Station he met someone who told him a similar story. The only difference was that Marian's new friend was a father - a father who ran away from his family when he realized that he was sexually attracted to his own son. In his first instinct, Marian wants to kill him. In this way, he wants to kill his own father, luring him to the station toilet. But he can't do that.

        We've been sitting around for a long time. We hugged each other and cried...  Two pieces of trash... two station rats, one worthy of each other...

What is Marian doing now? He goes to all the casting calls, trying to get cast in a series. But the best roles are those that take advantage of his extraordinary voice capabilities. For example: wolf howling. That's the only way Marian has a chance to be heard, and he's unrivalled at screaming...

        Because perhaps the only recipe for life is howling?

It happens in a hotel apartment by the sea. After twenty-five years of marriage, Irena and Jerzy are experiencing a huge crisis. To save their relationship, they come to the seaside town where they once spent their honeymoon. They want to once again feel like when they were really happy with each other, they want to return to their most beautiful memories. But everything is different than it used to be - the beach, the hotel suite, and most of all our heroes. The marriage therapy they have administered to themselves turns out to be a complete mistake - Irena and Jerzy are arguing with each other, they are malicious, they alternately stay and pack up to leave, everything annoys them. When a young, handsome waiter brings breakfast to their room, Irena seduces him, trying to provoke her husband. But for him, a healthy and generous breakfast is much more important. In the finale of the first act, after another argument, Irena, very upset, goes for a walk alone. Jerzy stays alone in the room, finishes his "holy" breakfast and falls asleep at the table.

At the beginning of the second act, Jerzy is suddenly awakened by a loud knock on the door. An attractive woman, who is by no means his wife, rushes into the room. She is a prostitute known as Bu, who claims to have been hired by a client from this very room. She offers Jerzy an erotic service in which she specializes - a virtual foreplay - to stage a scene that is supposed to fuel emotions and enhance the experience.  Jerzy protests - not only did he not call the prostitute into the room, but he also does not intend to play any games. Bu, however, believes that Jerzy's resistance is already part of the erotic game and the situation is beginning to get complicated. Jerzy is afraid of Irena's return, and when she starts knocking on the door, he orders Bu to hide in the closet. Bu follows the order, but of course Irena immediately looks into the closet, discovering an unfamiliar woman of dubious morals in it. The second part of the act is based on funny misunderstandings and mistakes. Ultimately, it is the prostitute's visit to Jerzy and Irena's apartment that becomes the best antidote to the marital crisis. The confrontation with quite peculiar views on feelings and sensory experiences causes our protagonists to find out what they really want and don't want.  Above all - that they were not as miserable with each other as they thought they were.

A brilliantly written tragicomedy, imbued with bitterness and ironic insight into the modern world. Chasing money, career at all cost, casual sex, life at its best, constant adrenaline - these are the goals of the characters. At the same time, Burzyńska's play is part of the literary current attempting to describe and define the world of male priorities and stereotypes. The main idea behind the play art is based on a perverse idea, since the protagonists are "remotely controlled", they are also the heroes of a computer game, which gives a simple, but thus extremely accurate metaphor for our functioning in the world in general. The play is written very skillfully, briskly, the author perfectly imitates the contemporary newspeak of young yuppies.

Summary:

In the PROLOGUE, a female voice coming from off-stage presents the characters of the play as if they were males in a dating show. These are the representatives of the contemporary generation of young conquerors, these are the luxurious males, the world belongs to them - they are handsome, they have great jobs, they have money, they can get any woman they want (and they know it), but most of all they are the owners of something that in today's world is a capital of undeniable value - namely, perfect well-being. The uncompromising and concrete Kris (formerly Christopher) is a headhunter, Art (formerly Arthur) is a tough guy who poses as a romantic, his domain is real estate trade, while the life creed of Alex (formerly simply Olek), a sales representative, is: you can sell and buy anything, even baldness, Mateo (formerly Matthew), a would-be conceptual artist, makes huge money on pseudo-artistic commercials.

The first part of the play is entitled LOVE GAME. Four friends meet in a bar, over a beer, they are relaxed and eagerly indulge in the favourite pastime of men of all ages, simply put, talking about women. The dynamically written dialogue has the characters peacocking, the men brag about each other's successes in winning over numerous representatives of the fair sex. Every now and then, they are interrupted by cell phones ringing (boss, client, SMS contest, boss, client, contest, etc.), which causes the scene to go on at a shaky, fast pace. When finally a voice from off-stage commands them to turn off the mobile phones, the men are reluctant to follow the order. At this point, Art talks about a new affair with a certain stewardess, who can talk about her sexual experiences in an extremely poetic way (e.g. as if the tongue of a chameleon was crawling down her neck, and the smell of walnuts was in the air, or that she felt like a silvery barracuda dancing on tidal waves). However, it soon comes to light that this poet is in fact Monika, Kris's wife, and immediately afterwards it turns out that she has also been Alex's new girlfriend for two weeks. A pathetic finale for the well-being of males.

The next part of the play is entitled THE STRATEGIC GAME, the action takes place in Kris's new office. He invited his friends to celebrate his promotion. Kris is just on the eve of a significant success - he recruited an excellent employee for a huge corporation of the latest generation. Each of them is talking on the phone, and at some point it turns out that one of them has called the other and looking at each other they are talking to each other on their mobile phones. A customer calls Kris with the news that he is giving up his lucrative job. Kris is devastated, and if he comes to the next day's meeting empty-handed, it will mean the end of his career. He decides to recruit one of his friends to a meeting with Global Progress representatives. He starts a cynical game with them, trying to make them feel dissatisfied with life. The men quickly take the bait, but the game between them takes a completely different direction than Kris assumed. In the end, there is a fight, and Kris is left alone. A voice from off-stage tells him that he hasn't solved the crisis and will be dropped three floors below. Ah! And one more thing, Global Progress doesn't exist. Have a nice day!

The third part entitled WAR GAMES takes place in the gloomy interior of a ruined factory. The men are divided into two pairs and play paintball. The tense, truly warlike atmosphere of danger is finally unleashed by the final battle of the opposing "teams". Unexpectedly, the friends find a girl's corpse. Mutual suspicion begins. The girl is covered in blood. Did anyone have live ammunition? They want to remove the corpse from the scene of the accident, but they realize their car is gone. They decide to call their mutual friend Monika for help, but... but the sound of the phone is coming from where the body is. They're all scared. The tension becomes so unbearable that there's a fight. Kris, Alex and Art fall unconscious one by one. Mateo cries trying to revive Monica, then he realizes that it's not a body, but an inflatable doll. A voice from off-stage says: What a pity you can't see your stupid face! The rest of the characters wake up slowly, lie down embracing each other, but don't have the strength to get up. Mateo hugs the doll, which slips out of his hands and floats up. A voice from off-stage says that the characters didn't live up to its expectations, that they are only characters in a game where the rules have no meaning. In a moment, I'm going to extinguish your mood indicators... You will stop feeling anything... Maybe that's better? Sex? Career? The war? What a cliché...  Delete... Game over. 

In the last scene, instead of the voice from off-stage, a young woman can be shown sitting with her back to the audience and playing a Sims game on the computer.

Bartek comes back home in a vile mood, again another day passed on his fruitless job search. Anita is waiting for him with a festive dinner (on the occasion of their first wedding anniversary). Bartek is frustrated and discouraged, projecting his frustrations on his partner. They communicate in short, crippled, emotional sentences. Anita tries to comfort Bartek in various ways and suggest new solutions. However, this does not bring positive results; on the contrary, Bartek is increasingly irritated. He tries to place an advertisement in the newspaper by phone: "Unimaginative, antisocial and non-creative talentless person is looking for a very well-paid job, preferably right away", but the phone operator does not take him seriously. Anita loses her enthusiasm and positive attitude and offers Bartek a joint suicide. Bartek dismisses her and resents that she is not looking for a job, but sitting at home. Anita reminds him that this was the deal between them - the man goes hunting, and the woman spins the yarn. Bartek is increasingly resigned and helpless. Anita would like everything to be like it was before. She reminds him of the moments of old happiness, she tries to involve Bartek in the game. She throws the dice, announces "The game is about to begin. I'm not Anita anymore." She delivers a long monologue in which she describes in detail the world and the situation in which they find themselves - Anita and Bartek, becoming heroes of the game. Bartek initially covers his ears, but with each word spoken by Anita he listens to her more and more carefully. However, he is still afraid. He says: "We won't be able to go back! Don't you remember what they told us in therapy?" Anita doesn't want to give up, she persuades Bartek to start playing the game, to play the fictional characters of Horgen and Siri. She gives him his character card. Bartek finally gets involved in the fiction, starts acting like a trance: "I'm ready. We can go." Anita, however, holds him back for a while, wants to change the game scenario. This creates more anxiety in Bartek. Anita wants Horgen and Siri to have a baby. Bartek gives up. They start the game. They lie down and embrace each other. The old tenderness and closeness returns. It is only thanks to the game and their fictional characters that Anita and Bartek are able to resurrect the old feelings, which were forgotten in the fervour of their ordinary life.